it feels good to know that you've helped someone...
really.. especially when you see the smile on their face and the relieve in the tone that they are speaking, like "ahh.. thank you so much for your help!" *grins*
unknowingly, i have helped alot of people.. and somehow kinda addicted to it.. its like as if i can help the whole world..
since young, i'm addicted to volunteering myself.. like.. community service..
I've been to Famine camp twice.. starve myself for 30 hours ( in hope that we can save more food.. erm.. ok, thats not the point) to understand how the people in the poverty-stricken country feel.. we also folded paper crane so that we can raise many many bowls of rice.. and collect newspaper to raise money...
I've also been to distribute cardholder to promote "anti-abuse" campaign.. so help those people who are suffering abuse from their own family members.. (i dunno how it would help them.. but anyway, i distribute card holder, with helpline numbers for them to call..)
other than the community.. i also help my own friends..
in terms of studies, and other small small favours that they need help in.. i will always try my best to help them..

looking back.. i realised that I had spent too much time in helping other people, and somehow I had forgotten to.. help myself..
as in.. I forgot the existence of "pampering" myself with the time I have to do things I like to do (Other than helping others....)
I forgot what I can do during my free time..
sometimes I just get too tired and stare blank the whole time (thinking of ways to help people...)
I AM SERIOUS!
sometimes when I day dream.. I was thinking of different ways to help her.... ways to help him... blah blah blah.. and sometimes, randomly, I can think of solutions would randomly call and talk about the problem and solutions.. sms here and there.. blah blah..

I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing..
and sometimes.. I think I am too "kay-po".. like wanna help here and there..
but.. when someone pour out their problems and I know about it.. I will try to help.. not that they need.. but.. i feel that problems needs solution and ta-dah.. JOAN.

I think I am going crazy..
I need a break.
A Time off.
Time that is solely for me.
Everything I do, is for myself.
Time that I want to be selfish..
Time to... not care about others so much..
Time that I can do whatever I like to do...

I need that break.